is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
