I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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