I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
