I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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