I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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