And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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