I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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