im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
