Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
