your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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