So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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