am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
