you guys were way drunker than both of me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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