I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize