Kiss
Puke
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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