Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
