Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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