I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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