I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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