Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
