If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
