Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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