They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
