You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
