we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
