What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
