i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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