Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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