So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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