How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize