Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
