Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
