Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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