I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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