Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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