possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
