she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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