wakey wakey hands off snakey
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
