You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
