Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
