My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
