Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
