My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
