Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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