he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
