you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Someone signed my nipple.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
