So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
