why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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