It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
