You can't motorboat a personality
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
MIDGETS
????
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
