I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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