apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
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Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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