you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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