I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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