just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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