I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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