she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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